Working Where The Sun Don't Shine (The Colorectal Surgeon's Song)

From "The Health Report", ABC Radio National, Tuesday 18th August 2003


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Norman Swan: You'll be happy to hear that Tim's colorectal surgeon tells him that his haemorrhoids are doing very well, almost sparkling.
But have you ever wondered why an intelligent human being would become a colorectal surgeon? Well the singers George Bowser and Ricky Blue wondered too, and gave their conclusions to the Annual Meeting of the American Society of Colorectal Surgeons in 1995.
SONG: "Working Where The Sun Don't Shine" (The Colorectal Surgeon's Song)

We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine

Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave

When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows...
He'll get you in the end!

Why be a colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?

When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don't shake hands."

He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages.
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play,
But this is not quite what he meant...
By eighteen holes a day!

Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine!

Norman Swan: Bowser and Blue, whose website is www.bowserandblue.com